Tag Archives: grandparent

The Battle Inside of Us – “Which Wolf Wins”

Dad's with their children - Bonding in early childhood development

Parents love their children and want the best for them; our children become who we train them to be.  The wise quote below by an unknown Cherokee Indian says many things to parenting of children and the future of our communities.

The Battle Inside of Us – A Quote by Cherokee Indian

One evening an elderly Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between 2 “wolves” inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Cherokee Indian

Source: Unknown

Encouraging Parents

“Parenting is the most challenging and is the most rewarding job there is” says, Christian Ross, Dad

Starts at Home encourages parents with children under seven years of age. You’ve heard it said it “starts at home”.  Children don’t come with instruction manuals.  Starts at Home are people who love parents and children, who are devoted to helping children achieve the best in whatever God given talents they have.

Parents are empowered to teach good attitudes and skills like faith, sharing, obedience, honoring parents, reading, math, memory, budgeting, and other practical life skills. We want our children to be the best they can be, giving them the freedom to choose their path in life.

We believe that parents whether married, single, or custodial, can teach children and protect them against the temptations they will face in the world like, unhealthy eating, sexual permissiveness, illegal drugs, internet safety, selfish pride, and excessive materialism.

We have a lot of work when it comes to loving the children and encouraging parents. There’s a lot of traumatized children out there.. Charles Manson, a life-sentenced murderer,  is an example; he grew up without the love of nurturing parents and eventually release his ugly anger.  When Charles Manson was born his mother did not give him a name, later, his mother sold him for a pitcher of beer.

In the United States, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics,  “the homicide 1) rate doubled from the early 1960s to the late 1970s, increasing from 4.6 per 100,000 U.S. residents in 1962 to, 2)  9.7 per 100,000 by 1979,  3) in 1980 the rate peaked at 10.2 per 100,000,  and 4) subsequently fell  to 7.9 per 100,000 in 1984. 5) The rate rose again in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s to another peak in 1991 of 9.8 per 100,000. 5) The homicide rate declined sharply from 9.3 homicides per 100,000, 6) in 1992 to 4.8 homicides per 100,000 in 2010″.

The poverty of no love and rejection can lead to many forms of mental illness. With hope, faith, and love, we come to serve. We are a group of individuals, businesses, organization working together to help families because children are not born with instructions.  For more information on this group see the Organization in this website.

We would be pleased to have you be part of Starts at Home, call us at (808) 937-4392,  or email us at startsathome@hotmail.com.  Have a wonderful and joy filled day!

  • This article was originally published on April 4, 2010

By Carl Okuyama

Professional Workshops on Identifying and Understanding of Child Abuse and Neglect

Communities are greatly impacted by child abuse and neglect. Our children are the leaders of tomorrow. This is a problem that affects everyone!

Join P.A.R.E.N.T.S., Inc. as they delve into two key topics that focus on identifying, reporting and understanding child abuse and neglect and age appropriate sexual behavior, as we work together to support and strengthen children and families.

Identifying, Reporting, and Understanding Child Abuse and Neglect
by Ms. Kathi Kreinik, MSW, ACSW, DCSW, BCD, LCSW

Speaker Bio: Kathi is currently retired after more than 40 years as a professional social worker. She has served as the Executive Director of both the NASW-Hawaii Chapter and Parents Anonymous, Hawaii. She also worked for the federal government in Family Advocacy. Her specialty is in the area of child abuse and neglect. She is currently the President of the Board of Directors for P.A.R.E.N.T.S., Inc.

Workshop Content:  Presenting a brief overview of the extent of the problem in Hawaii, understanding the reporting law, identifying signs of abuse and neglect, understanding parents who abuse and neglect their children, understanding the CWS system, and prevention and treatment indications.

Understanding Developmentally Age Appropriate Sexual
by Ms. Danielle Spain, Master of Counseling

Speaker Bio: Danielle has her Master of Counseling with emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy. Since 2007 she has been working with youth adjudicated for sexual offenses. She and her husband are therapeutic foster parents for high risk youth. She has extensive experience working with a number of social ills, including substance abuse, domestic violence and sex abuse. She is currently the Clinical Supervisor for P.A.R.E.N.T.S., Inc. in East Hawaii.

Workshop Content: Developmentally age appropriate sexual behavior. When is a child’s sexual behavior within  the “normal” range and when does it cross the line into “sexualized behavior”? We will explore the basics of the “normal range” human sexuality by developmental stage.

Inquire at

(808) 934-9552
Hilo, Big Island
(808) 235-0255
Honolulu, Oahu
Starts at Home thanks PARENTS Inc.  for their support at a Starts at Home parenting pot-luck dinner program, teaching about child abuse and sex education. Their professional programs are well attended and is a excellent training program for child development professional and empowered parents. We wish them well and much success; it’s about our children’s successful future.

Parenting Class – How to Teach Age Appropriate Sex Education to Young Children Before 7 Years Old

Parents Nurturing and Loving Children

Here’s a subject many parents shy away from due to not being sure how to communicate with their children on this sensitive and important subject.  Parents Inc. and our moderators will be sharing with our parenting group ways to communicate to children on this subject. Guest speakes from Parent’s Inc. will include *Regina Puritan, Big Island Director, and *Danielle Stain, Clinical Supervisor.

The important points in this class is sharing material that is age appropriate presented in a nurturing way.  The class will share ways to build a bond between child and parent(s) so children will openly seek the parent’s knowledge instead of going to other children or inappropriate media.  We hope you will join our fun group.  Anyone parenting is invited, especially dads.

Moderators(s):                           Carl Okuyama and Leonard Mukai, Ph.D.

Date:                                         Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Time:                                        5:30 pm to 8:30 pm

Cost:                                         Pot Luck Dinner,  No Fees

Sitter:                                      Amy Okuyama (librarian) will help sit the children. If you would like to help sit the children, your assistance would be appreciated.

Place:                                       Carl and Amy’s Place, 1346 Kilikina Street, Hilo, located above Hilo Medical Center; take second left street passed Hilo Medical center – Lahi Street; then take first right – Kilikina Street; then drive down the hill .4 mile to 1346 Kilikina; on the left side; two-story grey and white colored house.

RSVP:  startsathome@hotmail.com,   or call Carl at (808) 937-4392, or Amy (808) 938-8977.

Starts at Home Map - 1346 Kilikina Street, Hilo, Hawaii 96720
Map to Starts at Home – 1346 Kilikina Street, Hilo, Hawaii 96720
Bio on Speakers:
*Regina Purinton,  Big Island Program Director Parents Inc. is originally from Oahu.  She obtained by Bachelor’s in Social Work and her Master’s in Social Work from the University of Hawaii at Manoa in 1994 when she relocated to Hilo.  Her past experience includes:  Working for the Department of Human Services as a Social Worker, in Hilo as well as on Oahu.  She also worked for DHS in the licensing of Day Care facilities and private homes. She has experience working for the Department of Health in the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Division. She helped open the Hilo office of PARENTS Inc in 1999 and has been the Program Director since.

*Danielle Spain, Clinical Supervisor has lived in Hilo since 1992. She obtained a double Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and Communication from UH Hilo as well as her certification in treating addiction. In 2002 she received her Master’s in Counseling from the University of Phoenix. She has a small private counseling practice working with juvenile sex offenders and she and her husband are foster parents for high risk youth. Her past experience includes: 10 years working in the field of addiction eventually becoming the Director of Operations for the Big Island Substance Abuse Council. She then went and worked for various non-profits here in Hilo gaining experience working with a number of social ills including poverty, domestic violence, sex assault and high risk youth. Most recently she worked for the Department of Human Services Child Welfare as an investigator. In July of 2010 PARENTS Inc was awarded the VCM contract and she came to work for PARENTS Inc.