Tag Archives: child abuse

The Implications of Child Abuse and Neglect on Child Development – Hawaii 4/12/13 & 4/19/13

April 8, 2013Classes, Events for Parents, Healing Parents and Childrenchild abuse, early childhood development, education, Neglect, Parenting, parenting suportCarl Okuyama

Workshop Time (9:00 am – 4:00 pm)

Specialized Training on The Implications of Child Abuse and Neglect on Child Development

by Ms. Danielle Spain and Ms. Isha Charbonneau

Encouraging Parents

March 10, 2013About Uschild abuse, children, Dads, early childhood development, education, family, fathers, gifted children, gooddad, grandchildren, grandparent, healing, husband, love, loving spirit, Marriage, moms, obedience, Parenting, parenting classes, Preschool, reading, wifeCarl Okuyama

DSCF0712 — “Parenting is the most challenging and is the most rewarding job there is” says, Christian Ross, Dad

Starts at Home encourages parents with children under seven years of age. You’ve heard it said it “starts at home”. Children don’t come with instruction manuals. Starts at Home are people who love parents and children, who are devoted to helping children achieve the best in whatever God given talents they have.

Parents are empowered to teach good attitudes and skills like faith, sharing, obedience, honoring parents, reading, math, memory, budgeting, and other practical life skills. We want our children to be the best they can be, giving them the freedom to choose their path in life.

We believe that parents whether married, single, or custodial, can teach children and protect them against the temptations they will face in the world like, unhealthy eating, sexual permissiveness, illegal drugs, internet safety, selfish pride, and excessive materialism.

We have a lot of work when it comes to loving the children and encouraging parents. There’s a lot of traumatized children out there.. Charles Manson, a life-sentenced murderer, is an example; he grew up without the love of nurturing parents and eventually release his ugly anger. When Charles Manson was born his mother did not give him a name, later, his mother sold him for a pitcher of beer.

In the United States, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, “the homicide 1) rate doubled from the early 1960s to the late 1970s, increasing from 4.6 per 100,000 U.S. residents in 1962 to, 2) 9.7 per 100,000 by 1979, 3) in 1980 the rate peaked at 10.2 per 100,000, and 4) subsequently fell to 7.9 per 100,000 in 1984. 5) The rate rose again in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s to another peak in 1991 of 9.8 per 100,000. 5) The homicide rate declined sharply from 9.3 homicides per 100,000, 6) in 1992 to 4.8 homicides per 100,000 in 2010″.

The poverty of no love and rejection can lead to many forms of mental illness. With hope, faith, and love, we come to serve. We are a group of individuals, businesses, organization working together to help families because children are not born with instructions. For more information on this group see the Organization in this website.

We would be pleased to have you be part of Starts at Home, call us at (808) 937-4392, or email us at startsathome@hotmail.com. Have a wonderful and joy filled day!

This article was originally published on April 4, 2010

By Carl Okuyama

Crying for the Children – Child Abuse, Rejection, Depression, and Healing

February 16, 2013Healing Parents and Children, Parentingchild abuse, children, Dads, depression, early childhood development, grandparents, healing, love, loving spirit, moms, oppression, Parenting, rejection, SuicideCarl Okuyama

Healing Parents Who Were Abused As Children

Crying for the Children

Lately people have been sharing their intimate childhood stories of parental abuse- abuse which has left them deeply scared with feelings of guilt that they were somehow at fault for their parents’ abusive behavior. Our heart cries for these people whose childhoods were robbed this way, for their lives have been negatively affected as they struggle with their guilt, not realizing that it was not their fault. As adults, they carry a heavy burden of pain and my heart is heavy for them. We thank them for sharing their stories to provide help to others who have the same experiences; their testimonials have healing power.

As innocent and impressionable children they were robbed of joy when parent(s) or other person abuses them verbally or physically. It saddens us as we listen to their experiences of physical beatings, incest, rejection, verbal abuse, cruelty and in some cases, attempted murder. These wounds often remain open and need healing so that the abuse victim can understand that they were not at fault, and can learn to release this undeserved feelings of guilt and to love themselves again. Then can they can begin to love others while continuing to be healed from their past abuses, they will evolve to love their spouses, children, friends, and raise a family.

Without the healing process, abuse is well fated to become a generational problem. This means that at the very least, child abuse may continue to the next generation as victims grow up to abuse their own or other children; at the most, it may escalate to murder or suicide that often winds up on the front page news with most such sad endings not even acknowledged in the newspaper or television.

Child abuse is a huge challenge we face not only as a country, but as a threat to mankind as well. The horrific spirit of rejection and depression runs deep in its victims, and with time broadens its reach, as evidenced by the increase in violent crimes and the breakdown of the family and social values.

Love can heal these deep wounds. All children are special, trusting, and very impressionable. Abused children are quiet, afraid to speak out because they are ashamed, have low esteem, and most of all afraid. Kids…. it’s NOT YOUR FAULT! Stop listening to the past and the discouraging words that were spoken to you, God would not say those things or do those things to you. Your precious childhood is fleeting and needs to be enjoyed, filled with innocent joy and discovery of life, with guidance on your path to a well-adjusted and righteous adulthood walk with God.

If you ran away from home, it was because there was no love there, and no nurturing environment. Perhaps in your search for love, you looked in the wrong places and no wonder – you were never taught in a loving and disciplined home. It all should have started at home; a place you never had.

Help Us to Be Loving and Use Discipline Wisely

Help us to forgive our parents or foster parents for the wrongful things they did or said. Strengthen me to honor and love my parents despite the errors of their ways. Lift my spirit to worship only the one and loving God and forgive me for worshiping my parents. I will honor my parents and worship God.
Help us to control our anger and our tongue, knowing what we say we cannot take back our words and actions. Help our words to be encouraging and let those words create new hope, faith, and new life.
Help us to use discipline wisely in a loving way, being slow to anger, and not enabling poor and abusive behavior.
Help us not to look back in bitterness, remaining stuck in the past; instead keep our attention focused on the good life of a promising future.

There is hope and we are encouraged, knowing healing will come to mankind as He brings fathers and mothers back to their children, and the children back to their parents.

Our prayer

Lord help us to love our neighbors and help heal those who were victims of abuse; help them to forgive those who wronged them like you have forgiven us for our sins, and restore them to new fruitful productive living. Amen.

Original publish date, September 26, 2012

Professional Workshop on Helping Children – Parents, Inc. Hawaii, May 4 & 18

April 30, 2012Classes, Events for ParentsBlended Families, child abuse, early childhood development, Marriage, Parenting, parenting classes, parenting support, Support for ParentsCarl Okuyama

This is an opportunity to enhance your knowledge on how to help children cope with difficult family situations. Starting at Home believes in preventing a divorce, however should it happen, knowledge to mitigate negative impacts are important to understand.

Workshop 1 (9:00am – Noon)
Understanding the Impact of Parental Divorce on Children and
Blended Family Issues
by Ms. Kathi Kreinik, MSW, ACSW, DCSW, BCD, LCSW

Workshop Content
The learning objectives for this workshop are to increase participants’ knowledge of the prevalence of divorce; how children feel, think and act when their parents divorce; and issues that stepfamilies encounter including parental authority, children’s acting out behaviors, family members’ feelings, thoughts, and actions; and how to make blended families work.

Speaker Bio
Kathi is currently retired after more than 40 years as a professional social worker. She has served as the Executive Director of both the NASW-Hawaii Chapter and Parents Anonymous, Hawaii. She also worked for the federal government in Family Advocacy. Her specialty is in the area of child abuse and neglect. Kathi has developed parenting and domestic violence curriculums, has taught parenting to thousands of parents, and has provided individual, couple, and family therapy to hundreds during her career. She is currently the President of the Board of Directors for P.A.R.E.N.T.S., Inc.

Workshop 2 (1:00pm – 4:00pm)
Understanding the Impact of Domestic Violence on Children
by Danielle Spain, Master of Counseling

Workshop Content
The learning objectives for this workshop include: increasing awareness of the effects of domestic violence on women, children and families; and one’s understanding of how the impact of domestic violence influences parenting and affects child development from perinatal through adolescence. Participants working in the helping professions will develop their competency in educating parents about the impact domestic violence has on their family system and will learn personal safety and self-care strategies to reduce potential danger and stress from working with families experiencing domestic violence.

Speaker Bio
Danielle has her Master’s in Counseling with emphasis in Marriage and family Therapy. Since 1999 she has been working with families afflicted by domestic violence. She and her husband are the parents of three biological children and 4 foster youth. She has extensive experience working with a number of social ills, including substance abuse, domestic violence and sex abuse. She is one of our Program Directors in East Hawaii.

Workshop Dates & Venues
Big Island Workshops: May 4 (Fri)
Address: Aupuni Center Conference Room, Rm 101 Pauahi St, Hilo, HI 96720
Oahu Workshops: May 18 (Fri)
Address: HawaiiUSA Federal Credit Union, 1226 College Walk, Honolulu, HI 96817
*Workshop content is the same in both locations.

Workshop Fees
$40 per workshop, $60 for both workshops
$30 per workshop, $50 for both workshops (for students)
Pricing is the same for Big Island and Oahu workshops.

For more information visit Parent’s Inc.’s website.

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Starts at Home thanks PARENTS Inc. for their support at a Starts at Home parenting pot-luck dinner program, teaching about child abuse and sex education. Their professional programs are well attended and is a excellent training program for child development professional and empowered parents. We wish them well and much success; it’s about our children’s successful future.