Tag Archives: children

Encouraging Parents

March 10, 2013About Uschild abuse, children, Dads, early childhood development, education, family, fathers, gifted children, gooddad, grandchildren, grandparent, healing, husband, love, loving spirit, Marriage, moms, obedience, Parenting, parenting classes, Preschool, reading, wifeCarl Okuyama

DSCF0712 — “Parenting is the most challenging and is the most rewarding job there is” says, Christian Ross, Dad

Starts at Home encourages parents with children under seven years of age. You’ve heard it said it “starts at home”. Children don’t come with instruction manuals. Starts at Home are people who love parents and children, who are devoted to helping children achieve the best in whatever God given talents they have.

Parents are empowered to teach good attitudes and skills like faith, sharing, obedience, honoring parents, reading, math, memory, budgeting, and other practical life skills. We want our children to be the best they can be, giving them the freedom to choose their path in life.

We believe that parents whether married, single, or custodial, can teach children and protect them against the temptations they will face in the world like, unhealthy eating, sexual permissiveness, illegal drugs, internet safety, selfish pride, and excessive materialism.

We have a lot of work when it comes to loving the children and encouraging parents. There’s a lot of traumatized children out there.. Charles Manson, a life-sentenced murderer, is an example; he grew up without the love of nurturing parents and eventually release his ugly anger. When Charles Manson was born his mother did not give him a name, later, his mother sold him for a pitcher of beer.

In the United States, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, “the homicide 1) rate doubled from the early 1960s to the late 1970s, increasing from 4.6 per 100,000 U.S. residents in 1962 to, 2) 9.7 per 100,000 by 1979, 3) in 1980 the rate peaked at 10.2 per 100,000, and 4) subsequently fell to 7.9 per 100,000 in 1984. 5) The rate rose again in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s to another peak in 1991 of 9.8 per 100,000. 5) The homicide rate declined sharply from 9.3 homicides per 100,000, 6) in 1992 to 4.8 homicides per 100,000 in 2010″.

The poverty of no love and rejection can lead to many forms of mental illness. With hope, faith, and love, we come to serve. We are a group of individuals, businesses, organization working together to help families because children are not born with instructions. For more information on this group see the Organization in this website.

We would be pleased to have you be part of Starts at Home, call us at (808) 937-4392, or email us at startsathome@hotmail.com. Have a wonderful and joy filled day!

This article was originally published on April 4, 2010

By Carl Okuyama

Crying for the Children – Child Abuse, Rejection, Depression, and Healing

February 16, 2013Healing Parents and Children, Parentingchild abuse, children, Dads, depression, early childhood development, grandparents, healing, love, loving spirit, moms, oppression, Parenting, rejection, SuicideCarl Okuyama

Healing Parents Who Were Abused As Children

Crying for the Children

Lately people have been sharing their intimate childhood stories of parental abuse- abuse which has left them deeply scared with feelings of guilt that they were somehow at fault for their parents’ abusive behavior. Our heart cries for these people whose childhoods were robbed this way, for their lives have been negatively affected as they struggle with their guilt, not realizing that it was not their fault. As adults, they carry a heavy burden of pain and my heart is heavy for them. We thank them for sharing their stories to provide help to others who have the same experiences; their testimonials have healing power.

As innocent and impressionable children they were robbed of joy when parent(s) or other person abuses them verbally or physically. It saddens us as we listen to their experiences of physical beatings, incest, rejection, verbal abuse, cruelty and in some cases, attempted murder. These wounds often remain open and need healing so that the abuse victim can understand that they were not at fault, and can learn to release this undeserved feelings of guilt and to love themselves again. Then can they can begin to love others while continuing to be healed from their past abuses, they will evolve to love their spouses, children, friends, and raise a family.

Without the healing process, abuse is well fated to become a generational problem. This means that at the very least, child abuse may continue to the next generation as victims grow up to abuse their own or other children; at the most, it may escalate to murder or suicide that often winds up on the front page news with most such sad endings not even acknowledged in the newspaper or television.

Child abuse is a huge challenge we face not only as a country, but as a threat to mankind as well. The horrific spirit of rejection and depression runs deep in its victims, and with time broadens its reach, as evidenced by the increase in violent crimes and the breakdown of the family and social values.

Love can heal these deep wounds. All children are special, trusting, and very impressionable. Abused children are quiet, afraid to speak out because they are ashamed, have low esteem, and most of all afraid. Kids…. it’s NOT YOUR FAULT! Stop listening to the past and the discouraging words that were spoken to you, God would not say those things or do those things to you. Your precious childhood is fleeting and needs to be enjoyed, filled with innocent joy and discovery of life, with guidance on your path to a well-adjusted and righteous adulthood walk with God.

If you ran away from home, it was because there was no love there, and no nurturing environment. Perhaps in your search for love, you looked in the wrong places and no wonder – you were never taught in a loving and disciplined home. It all should have started at home; a place you never had.

Help Us to Be Loving and Use Discipline Wisely

Help us to forgive our parents or foster parents for the wrongful things they did or said. Strengthen me to honor and love my parents despite the errors of their ways. Lift my spirit to worship only the one and loving God and forgive me for worshiping my parents. I will honor my parents and worship God.
Help us to control our anger and our tongue, knowing what we say we cannot take back our words and actions. Help our words to be encouraging and let those words create new hope, faith, and new life.
Help us to use discipline wisely in a loving way, being slow to anger, and not enabling poor and abusive behavior.
Help us not to look back in bitterness, remaining stuck in the past; instead keep our attention focused on the good life of a promising future.

There is hope and we are encouraged, knowing healing will come to mankind as He brings fathers and mothers back to their children, and the children back to their parents.

Our prayer

Lord help us to love our neighbors and help heal those who were victims of abuse; help them to forgive those who wronged them like you have forgiven us for our sins, and restore them to new fruitful productive living. Amen.

Original publish date, September 26, 2012

The Magic of Singing with Children

November 25, 2012Parenting, Videoschildren, Children's Music, early childhood development, gifted children, gooddad, loving spiritCarl Okuyama

What do 1st U.S. President George Washington, singer Elvis Presley, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., comedian Sinbad, and singer Katy Perry have in common? Answer: As children, they all were raised and influenced by the church and gospel music, then later in life influenced our society.

In the below YouTube video, these children singing are not only learning music, also reading, stage confidence, public speaking, and teamwork. Music greatly has a positive effect on early childhood development.

I had the fortunate opportunity to serve on the University of Hawaii’s Presidential and Regent’s Scholarship selection committee for four years. Hawaii’s brightest students competed for the most generous scholarships the University system offered; its objective was to keep Hawaii best students in Hawaii. One common tread stood out among the gifted winning applicants, they all had music training.

As parents, singing with your children or having them participant in music programs can influence their success. Enjoy the video !2 Days of Christmas – Jesus Style – Messiah. Lyrics to this song is available on YouTube, click “show more”, additional information is available.

Amy and I would like to say thank you very much to Miss Emily, Mrs. Pacheco, Mrs. Newcomb, and Mrs. Niimi for teaching our children to sing at the Kaumana Baptist Church – Keiki Land Preschool Program, in Hilo Hawaii.

Happy Holidays, Joy and Peace to Everyone.

The Spirit of Father’s Day – Honoring Our Dads

June 12, 2012Fatherschildren, fathers, Fathers Day, gooddad, Marriage, ParentingCarl Okuyama

Happy Father’s Day dad, although you’re not here, I just wanted to say thanks to all the lessons in life you taught and opportunities you put in front of me. The great mystery in life is how they all seem to connect for the good, where the dotted lines are connected by God and faith. On Father’s Day we honor you.

Tomoo "Tom" Okuyama — Happy Father Day Dad.
Tomoo “Tom” Okuyama

Here’s a poem “My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and me watch him do it” by Clarence B. Kelland; it’s definitely a good example for fathers to follow.

Many times children are raised up by a father who is not their biological father, today we honor these fathers too. And finally and most importantly, there’s our heavenly Father, a Father who is perfect, a Father we can worship as compared to our earthly father who we honor.

With His Love, Happy Father’s Day!

Written by Carl Todaha-Okuyama