Healing Parents Who Were Abused As Children

Crying for the Children

Lately people have been sharing their intimate childhood stories of parental abuse- abuse which has left them deeply scared with feelings of guilt that they were somehow at fault for their parents’ abusive behavior.  Our heart cries for these people whose childhoods were robbed this way, for their lives have been negatively affected as they struggle with their guilt, not realizing that it was not their fault.  As adults, they carry a heavy burden of pain and my heart is heavy for them. We thank them for sharing their stories to provide help to others who have the same experiences; their testimonials have healing power.

As innocent and impressionable children they were robbed of  joy when parent(s) or other person abuses them verbally or physically. It saddens us as we listen to their experiences of physical beatings, incest, rejection, verbal abuse, cruelty and in some cases, attempted murder.  These wounds often remain open and need healing so that the abuse victim can understand that they were not at fault, and can learn to release this undeserved feelings of guilt and to love themselves again.  Then can they can begin to love others while continuing to be healed from their past abuses, they will evolve to love their spouses, children, friends,  and raise a family.

Without the healing process, abuse is well fated to become a generational problem.  This means that at the very least, child abuse may continue to the next generation as victims grow up to abuse their own or other children;  at the most, it may escalate to murder or suicide that often winds up on the front page news with most such sad endings  not even acknowledged in the newspaper or television.

Child abuse is a huge challenge we face not only as a country, but as a threat to mankind as well.  The horrific spirit of rejection and depression runs deep in its victims, and with time broadens its reach, as evidenced by the increase in violent crimes and the breakdown of the family and social values.

Love can heal these deep wounds.   All children are special, trusting, and very impressionable.   Abused children are quiet, afraid to speak out because they are ashamed, have low esteem, and most of all afraid.  Kids…. it’s NOT YOUR FAULT!   Stop listening to the past and the discouraging words that were spoken to you, God would not say those things or do those things to you. Your precious childhood is fleeting and needs to be enjoyed, filled with innocent joy and discovery of life, with guidance on your path to a well-adjusted and righteous adulthood walk with God.

If you ran away from home, it was because there was no love there, and no nurturing environment.  Perhaps in your search for love, you looked in the wrong places and no wonder – you were never taught in a loving and disciplined home.  It all should have started at home; a place you never had.

Help Us to Be Loving and Use Discipline Wisely

  • Help us to forgive our parents or foster parents for the wrongful things they did or said.  Strengthen me to honor and love my parents despite the errors of their ways. Lift my spirit to worship only the one and loving God and forgive me for worshiping my parents. I will honor my parents and worship God.
  • Help us to control our anger and our tongue, knowing what we say we cannot take back our words and actions.  Help our words to be encouraging and let those words create new hope, faith, and new life.
  • Help us to use discipline wisely in a loving way, being slow to anger, and not enabling poor and abusive behavior.
  • Help us not to look back in bitterness, remaining stuck in the past; instead keep our attention focused on the good life of a promising future.

There is hope and we are encouraged,  knowing healing will come to mankind as He brings fathers and mothers back to their children, and the children back to their parents.

Our prayer

Lord help us to love our neighbors and help heal those who were victims of abuse;  help them to forgive those who wronged them like you have forgiven us for our sins, and restore them to new fruitful productive  living. Amen.

Original publish date, September 26, 2012

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