Tag Archives: obedience

Grandparents and Parents Teaching with Loving Discipline – Toddlers Obey

Thank You grandpa and grandma for your helping in raising our family.
Thank You grandpa and grandma for your helping in raising our family.

September 8th is National Grandparent’s Day. Happy Grandparent’s Day to all the grandparents, have and wonderful day and give your grandchildren a big hug!  If that’s not possible call them over the phone and give them phone hugs or hopefully they’ll call you.   Here’s a nice story.


Grandma May shared a wonderful moment with her granddaughter April, a toddler who recently became three years old.  One morning just before 7:30 am, April called grandma’s cell phone. Grandma recognized her son’s phone via Caller ID, answered it and heard the voice of her granddaughter April, who asked “where are you?”  Grandma replied “at work” and April replied  “bye!” which ended  the call.  What a short and sweet call to get from your grandchild!

It’s so joyful to know that your toddler grandchild misses you and goes out of her way to phone you.  April abruptly ended her call because she knows grandma cannot talk to her while working, a lesson and rule taught to her from grandma and her parents.  It’s pleasing  to hear how toddlers learn to obey their parents, an important rule that will help them through early childhood development.

At two to three years of age, toddlers begin to learn at genius speeds.  This is their “Planting Twos” years, and all they need is the sharing, teaching and loving discipline of their parents and loved ones.

May and her parents Mark and Olivia, nice, “pat on the back” and way to go!

By Carl Okuyama



Encouraging Parents

“Parenting is the most challenging and is the most rewarding job there is” says, Christian Ross, Dad

Starts at Home encourages parents with children under seven years of age. You’ve heard it said it “starts at home”.  Children don’t come with instruction manuals.  Starts at Home are people who love parents and children, who are devoted to helping children achieve the best in whatever God given talents they have.

Parents are empowered to teach good attitudes and skills like faith, sharing, obedience, honoring parents, reading, math, memory, budgeting, and other practical life skills. We want our children to be the best they can be, giving them the freedom to choose their path in life.

We believe that parents whether married, single, or custodial, can teach children and protect them against the temptations they will face in the world like, unhealthy eating, sexual permissiveness, illegal drugs, internet safety, selfish pride, and excessive materialism.

We have a lot of work when it comes to loving the children and encouraging parents. There’s a lot of traumatized children out there.. Charles Manson, a life-sentenced murderer,  is an example; he grew up without the love of nurturing parents and eventually release his ugly anger.  When Charles Manson was born his mother did not give him a name, later, his mother sold him for a pitcher of beer.

In the United States, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics,  “the homicide 1) rate doubled from the early 1960s to the late 1970s, increasing from 4.6 per 100,000 U.S. residents in 1962 to, 2)  9.7 per 100,000 by 1979,  3) in 1980 the rate peaked at 10.2 per 100,000,  and 4) subsequently fell  to 7.9 per 100,000 in 1984. 5) The rate rose again in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s to another peak in 1991 of 9.8 per 100,000. 5) The homicide rate declined sharply from 9.3 homicides per 100,000, 6) in 1992 to 4.8 homicides per 100,000 in 2010″.

The poverty of no love and rejection can lead to many forms of mental illness. With hope, faith, and love, we come to serve. We are a group of individuals, businesses, organization working together to help families because children are not born with instructions.  For more information on this group see the Organization in this website.

We would be pleased to have you be part of Starts at Home, call us at (808) 937-4392,  or email us at startsathome@hotmail.com.  Have a wonderful and joy filled day!

  • This article was originally published on April 4, 2010

By Carl Okuyama

It’s Not the Terrible Twos, It’s the Planting Twos

The Planting Twos – Good Seed, Good Fruits, and the Golden Opportunity to Teach and Train

The stare down with Mr. Fish, Curiosity is a path to the Planting Twos and to an opportunity to teach at accelerated learning speeds. The “twos” are the Golden age of learning during early childhood development.

You may have heard the phrase the “Terrible Twos” and the challenges associated when a child is about this age. Instead, Starts at Home calls this time the Planting Twos an exceptional time in life when there is accelerated and unconscious learning.  Ancient inspirational Proverb and wisdom says to train a child in the way they may go, likewise today’s educational programs developed by Dr. Erick Erickson and Mari Montessori, MD. documented successful learning behavior during early childhood; so take the signs of tantrums and get ready for the Planting Twos not the “terrible twos”.

Parents try to their best to train children in grade school and high school, Starts at Home encourages parents to train a child before pre-school, these are the best years to plant seeds that will be blossom to be fruitful.

Early Childhood Development

According to Erik Erikson, Ph.D., the trust versus mistrust stage is the most important period in a person’s life. The trust versus mistrust stage is the first stage of Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This stage occurs between birth and approximately 18 months of age. Without this an infant may be unable to form intimate lasting relationships later in life.

Bonding between the child and parent starts developing immediately following birth and strengthens with the first year after birth. This is a time when parents can nurture a child with hugs, talking, laughing, feeding, smiling, playing music, singing, and changing diapers. The regular and consistent support from parents, who are the primary care giver, is most important during this phase, also support comes from grandparents, uncles, aunties, sitters, and close friends who help nurture and protect the child; this is a basic need for attachment.

Children will not remember their first years of life and the instinctive and innate bonding that occurred. This period will never come back again. Dads, it’s a time to spend less time at work, less time with personal friends, and less outside activities; it’s a period to spend more time spent with your new baby and family.

During these planting years children learn from their parents’ family values, social morals, and analytical skills that children will keep for the rest of their lives. During these early years teaching children what is morally right and wrong, concepts of sharing, listening, reading, math, and obedience are learning quickly and almost without effort.

Maria Montessori, MD. said, “The first idea the child must acquire is that of the difference between good and evil”. She also said “The only language men ever speak perfectly is the one they learn in babyhood, when no one can teach them anything!” The infamous German leader, Adolph Hitler said, “Who owns the youth, gains the future.” Pastor Gregg Laurie of Harvest Ministries remarks “Obedience starts in the high chair, not in the electric chair”.

President Bill Clinton said “The single biggest social problem in our society may be the growing absence of fathers from their homes and children.” In an article found in the website of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Population Affairs, we are reminded and too familiar with the statistics of being raised in fatherless homes; at JSI Research and Training Institute’s conference, moderated by, Gilbert Chavez, 06-10-09, he reminds us that fatherless homes are:

• 5 times more likely to commit crimes,
• 9 times more likely to drop out of school
• 20 times more likely to end up in prison
• Forty percent of all children born in America today will be born to unmarried parents.

Train A Child – Learning From a Mom of 10 Children

Starts at home invited Tani Freitas to share about how she raised ten (10) children and help encourage parents, after all, children are not born with instructions,. Tani was a loving, nurturing, and disciplined mom who gave her children chores beginning at the age of two (2); her oldest children is now a registered pharmacist and has her own family.

Each of Tani’s children had chores, beginning at the tender age of two. An important household rule was: No Chores, No Dessert, simple rule. If the children didn’t finish their dinner it was put into the refrigerator and served for breakfast. And if they didn’t want to finish dinner, they had to go straight to bed. If the children were hungry later in the evening, Tani said “sorry dinner time is over, you’ll have to wait till breakfast”. Every child helped with cleaning the dishes and kitchen after every meal, and there were lots of other chores for them to do around the house.

The importance of children and chores is also described in a phrase I like, by Pastor Greg Laurie who says, “obedience starts in the high chair not the electric chair”. Powerful words that are so true. Chores, obedience, and being a good follower starts at home with wise parents. Parents may at times give into children’s tantrums, especially when out in public. Children throw public tantrums because it often succeeds by embarrassing or wearing down the parent into submitting to the child’s will. As parents, we must be patient and wiser for our children, and train them early and consistently in a kind yet firm, loving, and nurturing manner. It is vital that we begin this type of parenting very early in the child’s life, for the longer we wait, the more difficult the child’s negative habits and behavior become to correct.


Starts at Home would like to thank LAVA 105FM for the opportunity to share this message on radio and Cynthia Honma of Ken’s Towing who sponsor of this radio program aired on September 7, 2011.  Like Ruth Matsuura, MD. retired Pediatrician says, “Parenting is the high calling in a person’s life”

Power Parenting by Leonard Mukai, Ph.D.


You’re OK, your children are OK, and you just need some TOOLS to make parenting and life less stressful and much more enjoyable. Come to Power Parenting to help change children’s behaviors. You will learn:

1. How to never argue with your children again.

2. How to help them improve school performance.

3. How to have your children listen to you.

4. How to have your children respect you.

5. How to have a healthy and happy home!

When: January 19 and 26, February 2,9, and 23 from 6:00-8:00pm.

Where: Thy Word Ministries, Awapuhi St (off E. Kahaopea below Baskin- Robbins)

Call Leonard Mukai, PhD, CPC, Parent Project Facilitator: 935-7050   Cost: $150 covers book, parents and grandparents

Happy New Year!

Aloha, Leonard (808) 935-7050


Note: Leonard Mukai, PhD. and Cecelia Mukai, PhD. are affiliates  of Starts at Home and has moderated numerous parenting potluck dinners. Leonard is a certified Life Coach. The above program is excellent and highly recommended.

Leonard Mukai