It’s Not the Terrible Twos, It’s the Planting Twos

The Planting Twos – Good Seed, Good Fruits, and the Golden Opportunity to Teach and Train

The stare down with Mr. Fish, Curiosity is a path to the Planting Twos and to an opportunity to teach at accelerated learning speeds. The “twos” are the Golden age of learning during early childhood development.

You may have heard the phrase the “Terrible Twos” and the challenges associated when a child is about this age. Instead, Starts at Home calls this time the Planting Twos an exceptional time in life when there is accelerated and unconscious learning.  Ancient inspirational Proverb and wisdom says to train a child in the way they may go, likewise today’s educational programs developed by Dr. Erick Erickson and Mari Montessori, MD. documented successful learning behavior during early childhood; so take the signs of tantrums and get ready for the Planting Twos not the “terrible twos”.

Parents try to their best to train children in grade school and high school, Starts at Home encourages parents to train a child before pre-school, these are the best years to plant seeds that will be blossom to be fruitful.

Early Childhood Development

According to Erik Erikson, Ph.D., the trust versus mistrust stage is the most important period in a person’s life. The trust versus mistrust stage is the first stage of Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This stage occurs between birth and approximately 18 months of age. Without this an infant may be unable to form intimate lasting relationships later in life.

Bonding between the child and parent starts developing immediately following birth and strengthens with the first year after birth. This is a time when parents can nurture a child with hugs, talking, laughing, feeding, smiling, playing music, singing, and changing diapers. The regular and consistent support from parents, who are the primary care giver, is most important during this phase, also support comes from grandparents, uncles, aunties, sitters, and close friends who help nurture and protect the child; this is a basic need for attachment.

Children will not remember their first years of life and the instinctive and innate bonding that occurred. This period will never come back again. Dads, it’s a time to spend less time at work, less time with personal friends, and less outside activities; it’s a period to spend more time spent with your new baby and family.

During these planting years children learn from their parents’ family values, social morals, and analytical skills that children will keep for the rest of their lives. During these early years teaching children what is morally right and wrong, concepts of sharing, listening, reading, math, and obedience are learning quickly and almost without effort.

Maria Montessori, MD. said, “The first idea the child must acquire is that of the difference between good and evil”. She also said “The only language men ever speak perfectly is the one they learn in babyhood, when no one can teach them anything!” The infamous German leader, Adolph Hitler said, “Who owns the youth, gains the future.” Pastor Gregg Laurie of Harvest Ministries remarks “Obedience starts in the high chair, not in the electric chair”.

President Bill Clinton said “The single biggest social problem in our society may be the growing absence of fathers from their homes and children.” In an article found in the website of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Population Affairs, we are reminded and too familiar with the statistics of being raised in fatherless homes; at JSI Research and Training Institute’s conference, moderated by, Gilbert Chavez, 06-10-09, he reminds us that fatherless homes are:

• 5 times more likely to commit crimes,
• 9 times more likely to drop out of school
• 20 times more likely to end up in prison
• Forty percent of all children born in America today will be born to unmarried parents.

Train A Child – Learning From a Mom of 10 Children

Starts at home invited Tani Freitas to share about how she raised ten (10) children and help encourage parents, after all, children are not born with instructions,. Tani was a loving, nurturing, and disciplined mom who gave her children chores beginning at the age of two (2); her oldest children is now a registered pharmacist and has her own family.

Each of Tani’s children had chores, beginning at the tender age of two. An important household rule was: No Chores, No Dessert, simple rule. If the children didn’t finish their dinner it was put into the refrigerator and served for breakfast. And if they didn’t want to finish dinner, they had to go straight to bed. If the children were hungry later in the evening, Tani said “sorry dinner time is over, you’ll have to wait till breakfast”. Every child helped with cleaning the dishes and kitchen after every meal, and there were lots of other chores for them to do around the house.

The importance of children and chores is also described in a phrase I like, by Pastor Greg Laurie who says, “obedience starts in the high chair not the electric chair”. Powerful words that are so true. Chores, obedience, and being a good follower starts at home with wise parents. Parents may at times give into children’s tantrums, especially when out in public. Children throw public tantrums because it often succeeds by embarrassing or wearing down the parent into submitting to the child’s will. As parents, we must be patient and wiser for our children, and train them early and consistently in a kind yet firm, loving, and nurturing manner. It is vital that we begin this type of parenting very early in the child’s life, for the longer we wait, the more difficult the child’s negative habits and behavior become to correct.


Starts at Home would like to thank LAVA 105FM for the opportunity to share this message on radio and Cynthia Honma of Ken’s Towing who sponsor of this radio program aired on September 7, 2011.  Like Ruth Matsuura, MD. retired Pediatrician says, “Parenting is the high calling in a person’s life”

4 thoughts on “It’s Not the Terrible Twos, It’s the Planting Twos

  1. Fantastic article. I agree. I have heard many say they don’t believe in forcing manners and social skills at this age because they are to young to understand, but no way this is when these things will begin to take root and grow. I am constantly trying to impart good values in our daughter. Tantrums are hard, but do run their course. It is difficult to always make the correct decision, but us mamas and daddys sure try our best.

    1. Keep up your great job as mom! You’re doing a great job. We may think they’re not learning, but with a their limited vocabulary no wonder it’s hard to communicate. The fact is they’re learning at genius speeds; it’s the Planting Twos. Way to go mom!

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