Tag Archives: grandchildren

Dealing with Tantrums – Normal transition from infant to child – The Planting Twos

Feed and lead our children with love and nurturing discipline to limit and to avoid prolonged tantrum years. Photo – Michelle Meiklejohn

Imagine yourself as an infant, you’ve been crying as your natural form of communication. You cried for milk, cried to have your diaper changed, cried when you bumped your head, and cried when you wanted to be carried. Now you’re two years old and you want something … so you cry. Wow, you haven’t changed but your parents did because they say you’re having a tantrum. How can this be – I’m still the same child!  Sound familiar?  These tantrums can be very annoying and frustrating for both parent and child.

In this phase of a child’s life, parents are going through what has been popularly referred to as the “Terrible Twos”.  Instead I’d like to call it the Planting Twos.  It’s our choice as parents, and how we handle this phase of our child’s development,  whether it is the “Terrible Twos” or Planting Twos.

Your child is transitioning  from an infant to a young child and it’s important for us as parents to lead this change in a consistent and loving manner.  The goal here is to guide and develop a child’s familiar method of communication, transitioning it from one of just crying, into one of speaking, vocabulary, and yes, acceptable obedient behavior.   This is done by speaking to the child and using simple terms to explain the “whys or why nots” of the situation at hand.  The key here is patience and consistency: make a decision and stick to it no matter how loud, frequent or impassioned the child cries or acts out.

How many times have you experienced or witnessed parents dealing with a child’s public tantrum display?  This is especially trying for the parent, but again the key here is to remain calm and communicate in a firm, loving manner instead of giving in to the child’s tantrums or stubbornness.  It will take time and often fortitude, but parents who consistently practice this method will find that the child eventually learns the more acceptable forms of behavior and communication such as speaking and/or accepting the parent’s decision (at least for the moment).

What a reward this is for both parent and child in achieving successful transitioning in this important phase of childhood development.   This is also the time when parents can begin to “plant the seeds” of patience in a child, teaching early the value of delayed – rather than instant gratification.

When parents – either out of guilt or frustration or embarrassment – consistently give in to a child’s tantrums, they reinforce this behavior and encourage tantrums.  The transition period from tantrums to effective communication and behavior is delayed in the child.

I recall my childhood years when I behaved as a spoiled child.  I remember throwing tantrums at Tots and Teens, a popular children’s store in old downtown Hilo; I was able to get my mom to buy me model airplanes, cars and battleships.  I knew that all I had to do was keep crying and my mom would buy me the toy.  Was I being strong-willed or was my mother enabling me to be this way and thus encouraging my tantrums?  Most likely both.  It would have been better for her to have said “no”.   She would have had to endure more tantrums, but  I’d soon realized that my tantrums were futile, and that I’d have to try another method of communication, or accept and obey her decision.

Tantrums are a normal part of childhood development as a child explores methods to express his or her needs and wants.  Although popularly referred to as “The Terrible Twos”, this can be a very rewarding “Planting Twos” instead!  There is nothing “terrible” about a child’s desire to explore the world and communicate more effectively, especially with parents who lovingly transition him or her in this vital phase of life.   This is the time for parents to begin “planting the seeds” of love, obedience, and life’s lessons that will carry that child through to a successful childhood and beyond.  Parents have only to be patient and consistent.    Let your “no” be “no” and your “yes” be “yes”, be consistent and above all, be loving.   It will often be difficult to do so, but this phase will not last forever and the rewards will be great for both you and your child by establishing a firm foundation for successful transitioning and growth in future phases of childhood development.

FREE – Ohana and Keiki Fair, this Saturday June 5th – Na Himeni – Hilo Civic

In this economy it is difficult for many families to go out for a day of food and fun. What a joy it is that the community can provide this for them and show children and families how much God loves them! The purpose of the “Children’s Fair” is to have a fun and wholesome event for the entire family with free food, free entertainment with Leon & Malia, puppet shows, Keiki ID, free games, prizes, drawing for a free car. (Click on the images below for more information) Visit the Starts at Home display at Na Himeni. A community event Na Himeni is sponsored by various churches, organizations, businesses, and individuals.

8:50 Opening Prayer/9:00 – 10:00 Children’s Praise and Worship by Glad Tiding and Elevate/ 9:00 – 10:30 Games/ 10:30 – 12:00 Center Stage –  Noelani & Cheerleader’s, Thy Word Ministry, Elevate, New Hope Hilo, Roddy & David./ 12:00 – 1:00 Leon and Malia & Keiki Calabash / 1:00 – 2:00 Open Games, Costume Contest Winner, Game Decoration Winner. Acknowledgements & Car Drawing/ 2:00 Closing Prayer

For more information call Hilo Missionary Church at: 959-9211.   Aloha Ke Akua!

Free Children's Concert - Sat 6/5 - Hilo Civic
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Encouraging Parents and Loving Children

Second Chances – By David Welty

Second Chances – Written by David Welty

Grandpa Carl and John enjoying our “Second Changes” that Welty is referring to; it is such a joy to be with the new and growing family.

It’s not very often that we get a second chance in life. When we have raised our children and we have aged, we tend to look back and more often than not wish we had spent a little more time listening and playing with our children. As we all know they just grew too fast and many of us feel that there were many missed opportunities.

The older we get, the more we realize what is truly important….it certainly isn’t a big career, fancy cars or a big house. It is the joy and love that comes with family and to those of us that God blesses with grandchildren, we truly do get a second chance. We now can take all day to listen and play with our children’s children.

The short temper that some of us had as parents seems to completely disappear and spending time with our grandchildren becomes a joy with true unconditional love. Our grandchildren believe grandma and grandpa know everything and can do anything. We all know this will soon pass too quickly, however we are embracing our second chances while they last.

Parenting – Free “G” Rated Children Videos Rentals Announced

Hilo, Hawaii  – Wiki-Wiki Video introduced a Free Children’s Video Rental Program starting Sunday April 11, 2010. The company placed a newspaper coupon on the front cover of the city’s weekly TV Guide magazine “Remote”, published by the Hawaii Tribune Herald.  The program provides safe entertainment and educational materials for parents and children.

The company plans to continue this program and hopes it will grow. The program is available at two stores in Hilo and Puna on the weekends, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Weekends were selected as not in interfere with children’s school programs.  The programs promotes and encourages parent and children bonding and allows children to choose a free “G” Rated video in a select category of the store when accompanied by a parent or adult.

The program is in partnership with a new start up group “Starts at Home” that encourage parenting and teaching children a wide variety of concepts before the age of seven (7).

Wiki-Wiki Video is a division of Sure Save Super Markets, Ltd. For further information please call  (808) 959-5060.  A copy of the video coupon is attached, and can be redeemed when printed with this blog article.