Grandparents and Parents Teaching with Loving Discipline – Toddlers Obey

Thank You grandpa and grandma for your helping in raising our family.
Thank You grandpa and grandma for your helping in raising our family.

September 8th is National Grandparent’s Day. Happy Grandparent’s Day to all the grandparents, have and wonderful day and give your grandchildren a big hug!  If that’s not possible call them over the phone and give them phone hugs or hopefully they’ll call you.   Here’s a nice story.

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Grandma May shared a wonderful moment with her granddaughter April, a toddler who recently became three years old.  One morning just before 7:30 am, April called grandma’s cell phone. Grandma recognized her son’s phone via Caller ID, answered it and heard the voice of her granddaughter April, who asked “where are you?”  Grandma replied “at work” and April replied  “bye!” which ended  the call.  What a short and sweet call to get from your grandchild!

It’s so joyful to know that your toddler grandchild misses you and goes out of her way to phone you.  April abruptly ended her call because she knows grandma cannot talk to her while working, a lesson and rule taught to her from grandma and her parents.  It’s pleasing  to hear how toddlers learn to obey their parents, an important rule that will help them through early childhood development.

At two to three years of age, toddlers begin to learn at genius speeds.  This is their “Planting Twos” years, and all they need is the sharing, teaching and loving discipline of their parents and loved ones.

May and her parents Mark and Olivia, nice, “pat on the back” and way to go!

By Carl Okuyama

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Unconditional Love on Mothers Day – Big Time Love

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to very special ladies, who loved us , nurtured, and shape our lives, including non-biological moms with Big Time Love.

A time of bonding and a foundation of future relationships; a vital part of early childhood development.
Big Time Love that never give up.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom. Thank you for loving and nurturing us.
Happy Mother’s Day – Love this Beautiful photo, Amy with mom Emiko Kessinger.

Thank You Mom for taking care of us while we grew in you, as you felt our movements, heard our heart beating, and brought us into this world crying and kicking.

Thank you for providing for our physical needs because we were too small to change our diapers and feed ourselves; we were little gems, great hopes, and aspirations to do big things in our lives.

Mom, thank you for not giving up on dad, my brothers, sisters, and me.  We know it was difficult and sometimes you wanted to call it quits and just walk out the door or walk off the face of the planet, but your Big Time Love persevered for us.

Thanks for teaching us to pray and know that with faith we can make our hopes and dreams a reality.

Thanks for the times you were pulling your hair because no one helped you and you were alone and crying.  And when when you were a single mom, thank you for not taking your frustrations out on me, we saw it coming many times but somehow you maintained your temper and you managed to love us through those toughest of times.. those blessings of grace and acts of courage were Big Time Love.

Mom thank you for not beating and hurting us, like when you were raised by your hurtful and harmful parents, your forgiving of grandpa and grandma is unconditional love.  We now understand how difficult is was for you to be abused yet you forgave and didn’t look back with bitterness in your heart.

Mom thank you for those times we know you wanted to go out with your friends or watch that special program but instead stayed to read and play with us.

Mom thanks for being lovingly strict with us as now we know why we had to obey; you wanted the best for us.  When we were little children, we thought you were the worst mom an enemy could send, but we were wrong, you were good preventive medicine.  We’re glad you held on to the medicine spoon and made us drink for our own good.

Mom thank you for the time I had to move back home because things were just not working out in my life, you took us back with your unconditional love and you were again there for us.

Thank you for teaching us that the material things in life are nice but our character and relationships are priceless that have everlasting value, it’s not the “bling” in the end that will make us sing.

Happy Mother’s Day!  We love you and your unconditional Big Time Love.

By Carl Okuyama

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My wife Amy’s mother’s name is Emiko and my mother’s name is Kiyoko.  Now, Amy is a grandmother and is helping nurture, love, and train our grandchildren, the next generation.

Encouraging Parents

“Parenting is the most challenging and is the most rewarding job there is” says, Christian Ross, Dad

Starts at Home encourages parents with children under seven years of age. You’ve heard it said it “starts at home”.  Children don’t come with instruction manuals.  Starts at Home are people who love parents and children, who are devoted to helping children achieve the best in whatever God given talents they have.

Parents are empowered to teach good attitudes and skills like faith, sharing, obedience, honoring parents, reading, math, memory, budgeting, and other practical life skills. We want our children to be the best they can be, giving them the freedom to choose their path in life.

We believe that parents whether married, single, or custodial, can teach children and protect them against the temptations they will face in the world like, unhealthy eating, sexual permissiveness, illegal drugs, internet safety, selfish pride, and excessive materialism.

We have a lot of work when it comes to loving the children and encouraging parents. There’s a lot of traumatized children out there.. Charles Manson, a life-sentenced murderer,  is an example; he grew up without the love of nurturing parents and eventually release his ugly anger.  When Charles Manson was born his mother did not give him a name, later, his mother sold him for a pitcher of beer.

In the United States, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics,  “the homicide 1) rate doubled from the early 1960s to the late 1970s, increasing from 4.6 per 100,000 U.S. residents in 1962 to, 2)  9.7 per 100,000 by 1979,  3) in 1980 the rate peaked at 10.2 per 100,000,  and 4) subsequently fell  to 7.9 per 100,000 in 1984. 5) The rate rose again in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s to another peak in 1991 of 9.8 per 100,000. 5) The homicide rate declined sharply from 9.3 homicides per 100,000, 6) in 1992 to 4.8 homicides per 100,000 in 2010″.

The poverty of no love and rejection can lead to many forms of mental illness. With hope, faith, and love, we come to serve. We are a group of individuals, businesses, organization working together to help families because children are not born with instructions.  For more information on this group see the Organization in this website.

We would be pleased to have you be part of Starts at Home, call us at (808) 937-4392,  or email us at startsathome@hotmail.com.  Have a wonderful and joy filled day!

  • This article was originally published on April 4, 2010

By Carl Okuyama

Crying for the Children – Child Abuse, Rejection, Depression, and Healing

 

Healing Parents Who Were Abused As Children

Crying for the Children

Lately people have been sharing their intimate childhood stories of parental abuse- abuse which has left them deeply scared with feelings of guilt that they were somehow at fault for their parents’ abusive behavior.  Our heart cries for these people whose childhoods were robbed this way, for their lives have been negatively affected as they struggle with their guilt, not realizing that it was not their fault.  As adults, they carry a heavy burden of pain and my heart is heavy for them. We thank them for sharing their stories to provide help to others who have the same experiences; their testimonials have healing power.

As innocent and impressionable children they were robbed of  joy when parent(s) or other person abuses them verbally or physically. It saddens us as we listen to their experiences of physical beatings, incest, rejection, verbal abuse, cruelty and in some cases, attempted murder.  These wounds often remain open and need healing so that the abuse victim can understand that they were not at fault, and can learn to release this undeserved feelings of guilt and to love themselves again.  Then can they can begin to love others while continuing to be healed from their past abuses, they will evolve to love their spouses, children, friends,  and raise a family.

Without the healing process, abuse is well fated to become a generational problem.  This means that at the very least, child abuse may continue to the next generation as victims grow up to abuse their own or other children;  at the most, it may escalate to murder or suicide that often winds up on the front page news with most such sad endings  not even acknowledged in the newspaper or television.

Child abuse is a huge challenge we face not only as a country, but as a threat to mankind as well.  The horrific spirit of rejection and depression runs deep in its victims, and with time broadens its reach, as evidenced by the increase in violent crimes and the breakdown of the family and social values.

Love can heal these deep wounds.   All children are special, trusting, and very impressionable.   Abused children are quiet, afraid to speak out because they are ashamed, have low esteem, and most of all afraid.  Kids…. it’s NOT YOUR FAULT!   Stop listening to the past and the discouraging words that were spoken to you, God would not say those things or do those things to you. Your precious childhood is fleeting and needs to be enjoyed, filled with innocent joy and discovery of life, with guidance on your path to a well-adjusted and righteous adulthood walk with God.

If you ran away from home, it was because there was no love there, and no nurturing environment.  Perhaps in your search for love, you looked in the wrong places and no wonder – you were never taught in a loving and disciplined home.  It all should have started at home; a place you never had.

Help Us to Be Loving and Use Discipline Wisely

  • Help us to forgive our parents or foster parents for the wrongful things they did or said.  Strengthen me to honor and love my parents despite the errors of their ways. Lift my spirit to worship only the one and loving God and forgive me for worshiping my parents. I will honor my parents and worship God.
  • Help us to control our anger and our tongue, knowing what we say we cannot take back our words and actions.  Help our words to be encouraging and let those words create new hope, faith, and new life.
  • Help us to use discipline wisely in a loving way, being slow to anger, and not enabling poor and abusive behavior.
  • Help us not to look back in bitterness, remaining stuck in the past; instead keep our attention focused on the good life of a promising future.

There is hope and we are encouraged,  knowing healing will come to mankind as He brings fathers and mothers back to their children, and the children back to their parents.

Our prayer

Lord help us to love our neighbors and help heal those who were victims of abuse;  help them to forgive those who wronged them like you have forgiven us for our sins, and restore them to new fruitful productive  living. Amen.

Original publish date, September 26, 2012