Husbands Love Your Wife, Wives Submit, Children Obey

WHATTT!!!  You’re kidding, you want me to submit to my husband, no way! Does this sound crazy, an impossibility in today’s society? No, this statement is the foundation to a successful marriage where children obey, listen, and learn, and creates a loving and stable family that can weather the storms of life.

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Encouraging Parents and Loving Children

Personally, I found this truth later in my marriage and now my marriage and relationship with my wife Amy and children has improved and continues to get better.  As fathers we must love our wives, this is the cornerstone principal and secret of successful families.  As fathers we take the lead, make sacrifices, protect, and accept our wives for who they are.  We think we can change them, demand results, and require sexual exchange .. all wrong!  It starts at home with fathers loving their wives.  Without love, no way will a wife submit, nor children obey.

Husbands, let’s agree what love is: it’s spiritual, and inspirational. Love is what successful families are made of  and the main ingredient in block buster big hit movies. Love is patient, kind, not envy, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrong doing, forgives, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects, trusts, hopes, preserves. Love never fails. Love is God’s greatest gift to you to pass to your wife and children, we pass it forward.

When I started practicing this concept my relationship with my wife changed. She was no longer a property or trophy, she became my best friend, partner, and wife.  At the same time I started to use this concept with our cat Tigger and I saw changes in Tigger’s behavior.  At that point, I realized that it was not Tigger or Amy that changed, it was me. The concept is simple, we can’t throw stones at our wives and expect them to follow; instead don’t be surprised if they run away.

On children, when children see and observe their parent’s loving relationship, they have an easier time obeying.  Children are naive and don’t have a clue what is right or wrong, they’re all eyes, ears, and emotions. Children are like absorbent sponges, automatically soaking in material where they are placed. Children are required to obey their parents as they have no knowledge or wisdom, and parents teach them for their own good.

This period of children’s obedience begins early in life, if we don’t start early in life we miss the opportunity to plant good seeds into their existence.  This is a time in life when the soil for planting is deep and rich.  As loving, nurturing, and lovingly strict parents, we need to do this before the age of seven (7); contrary if we don’t teach them the world through media and other poor examples will teach them. Then the older they get the more rebellious they become.  It’s difficult to plant seeds when children are teenagers.  According to many social studies marriage dissatisfaction is the lowest when children become teenagers ….research graphs show it’s the pits!  From ancient biblical writings to modern educational methods, time reveals to teach a child early in life and as they become older they will not depart from what we teach them.

Husbands and dads, it starts at home with an inspirational spirit encouraging  us to love our wives, wives willingly submitting, and children following.  Try it in good faith …. it works!   God bless you and your family.

By Carl Okuyama

Second Chances – By David Welty

Second Chances – Written by David Welty

Grandpa Carl and John enjoying our “Second Changes” that Welty is referring to; it is such a joy to be with the new and growing family.

It’s not very often that we get a second chance in life. When we have raised our children and we have aged, we tend to look back and more often than not wish we had spent a little more time listening and playing with our children. As we all know they just grew too fast and many of us feel that there were many missed opportunities.

The older we get, the more we realize what is truly important….it certainly isn’t a big career, fancy cars or a big house. It is the joy and love that comes with family and to those of us that God blesses with grandchildren, we truly do get a second chance. We now can take all day to listen and play with our children’s children.

The short temper that some of us had as parents seems to completely disappear and spending time with our grandchildren becomes a joy with true unconditional love. Our grandchildren believe grandma and grandpa know everything and can do anything. We all know this will soon pass too quickly, however we are embracing our second chances while they last.

Na Himeni – A Family Event

Welcome to Na Himeni


Community Service With Aloha

In these economic times, our government simply doesn’t have enough funds to maintain community facilities like schools and parks for our children and families. What a privilege to show God’s love in action by working together as one church to serve the East Hawaii community. The Bible says that many hands make light work and the joy of the Lord is our strength. Let’s work together for East Hawaii and have great fun and fellowship at the same time. Let’s show our congregations that it is fun and a joy to serve!

May 29 service will be at Keaukaha Elementary School

June 4 service will be at Waiakea High School and at various county parks.

`Ohana and Keiki Fair, Saturday June 5th: In this economy it is difficult for many families to go out for a day of food and fun. What a joy it is that we can provide this for them and show children and families how much God loves them! The purpose of the “Children’s Fair” is to have a fun and wholesome event for the entire family with free food, free entertainment with Leon & Malia, and free games and prizes.

Evening Events: It is difficult for many families financially to take the family out to dinner for a night of wholesome fun and entertainment. What a privilege to show God’s Love to families by creating this time for them! Each night there will be a free dinner for the first 500 people. Thursday June 3rd will be “Youth/College” night where the entire family can watch high octane Youth/College groups worship, dance and do dramas. Friday June 4th will be Ethnic Night with groups worshipping Jesus with the songs and dances of their cultures. Saturday Night is Contemporary/Gospel/Hymns Night with some of the best worship teams in Hawaii performing. There will also be food and craft booths in a fun carnival atmosphere.

Please join with us in showing God’s Love to East Hawaii while having a blast together!  For more information call Hilo Missionary Church at: 959-9211.

Roots of the Vision – A Child’s Pure Heart

It was Sunday and time to teach Sunday School.  The church provided a loving, nurturing, and fun environment to teach interesting bible stories; the children and parents liked the classes and choose to return each Sunday.  Being a small country church, this class was composed of eight to eighteen children ranging in age from six to eleven. Due to this wide range teaching was a challenge.  In class some children could spell and read,  most of them were just learning to read.  In this fun atmosphere we taught spelling, reading, and shared stories of how to work with one another.

Sunday school cookiesThis Sunday, I was inspired to bake cookies, although I’m not a baker nor a good cook. I enjoyed the children so this led me to start baking cookies for them.  My wife Amy would poke her nose into the kitchen and curiously watched and wonder if I could make cookies; her suggestions were appreciated.  Some cookies came out of the oven light in color and some a bit darker, nevertheless, they all tasted “ono”, which means delicious in the Hawaiian language. Using food coloring I painted each cookie with a letter or symbol.  Now I was equipped to teach Sunday School.

In class I announced that everyone had a chance to get a cookie and all each child had to do was to say a word that contained the letter on the cookie; this was the spelling lesson of the day. When I asked who wanted to go first, they all raised their hands, all frantically trying be noticed.  Each child wanted a cookie and my cookie lesson plan was working.  Since Paul was the youngest he was chosen to go first.

Paul came up and looked anxiously into the large jar of cookies,  a smile on this face, eyes were lit up, he had so much hope in his heart.  He looked at me, then looked back into the cookie jar, then again at me and so I asked Paul to tell me any word with any letter on any cookie.   With much joy on his face and a pure, clean, and naive heart, Paul said “f- – -” Although I was shocked I did not flinch and instead suggested that he try another word.  He again looked happily back into the cookie jar and couldn’t think of a word.  At that point I realized that Paul was the youngest in the class and still learning to spell so I picked out a cookie and said, “how about the letter “J” – J for Jesus”; then wrote the word on the whiteboard.   His face beamed with happiness, Paul got the first cookie, he sat down and the class continued.

That Sunday morning Paul changed my life.  Paul showed me children are taught early in life and sometimes we can lose them to the dark side when we display and teach the wrong attitudes and teachings.   When I first shared this story with a few individuals, it provoked two kinds of responses 1) did you scold and discipline the kid?, or 2) that’s funny yet so sad.  I agree with the second response, as our children are naive and need to be taught early in life with good skills and attitudes. If I scolded Paul or said harsh words to the children in class they will not want to come back to class, they may become ashamed and run from the teacher or non-nurturing parent.  Fortunately Paul continued to come to class every Sunday and it was pure joy helping him grow.  I have so much hope for Paul for I know that the seeds we plant in a child’s early life will be fruitful and help build good character in the years to come.

Eventually, I left teaching Sunday school after Lorna, a church member,  shared with me this scripture,  “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse”; Malachi 4:6 (NIV).  This verse  is the last scripture written in the Holy Bible’s Old Testament, it was written about 430 years B.C.

The scripture Malachi 4:6 was the beginning  and reminder to the teach children earlier in life and to give them a good start; so when they’re  older they’ll not depart from the ways they were taught.  It was from this point in time I started to dedicate time to encourage parents, this became the vision and mission of Starts at Home.

Lord God, help us teach our children with an obedient, loving, and nurturing spirit.  Amen.

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By Carl Okuyama