It’s not the presents under the tree nor the shopping at the mall that make the holidays and Christmas joyful, it’s Love and Peace within us we seek.
More than the presents under the tree, love is the greatest gift. “For God so loved the world He gave His only begotton son”. John 3:16.
You’re happy that your children are healthy, joyful, talented, and smiling . Sometimes they may not be perfect but pure joy shines through it all.
The children are sometimes rascal, curious, yet when parents speak they listen and obey.
The family comes together to celebrate the holidays and Christmas, each heart yearning to hug one another, or missing each other from afar.
It’s a time to forgive and leave the past behind and to not look back.
Grandparents, parents, children, in-laws, and family laughing and remembering times they shared, some memories a challenge yet worthy of life’s mysterious journey.
Then came uncles, aunties, and loved ones gathering to share the holidays.
We love that special spirit that fills the cold winter air with a special warmth and fire.
The joy you give when you invite someone who is away from their family and needing of cheer.
And, importantly first children loving God, secondly children honoring their parents.
These gift are more than enough. It reminds me what my wife Amy Lou said, “Love is like a piggy bank, if you don’t deposit, there is nothing that will come back; unfortunately some children don’t want to come home for Christmas.” It’s never too late to start seeking the greatest gift, giving more love and your time this Christmas.
Eulogy and Celebration of Terry Makino-Kaide’s Life
April 21, 1922 to March 30, 2012
Shared by Annette Clay, Charlotte Kaide, Gale Sakaguchi
Written and Presented by Carl Okuyama
This Eulogy represents the warm feelings that were spoken by Mrs. Kaide’s children, cousins, and aunties, who have a great story to share. They said mom touched the hearts of many because of her love, compassion, genuine kindness, and her thoughtfulness toward others, these were her special qualities. She always had great words of wisdom and was the rock and the glue in their family. The family would like to share and celebrate their mother’s life. This is a story of a submissive, nurturing wife, and mother.
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Terry was born on April 21, 1922 in Maui to Shizuyo Abe and Masato Makino. She was the eldest of nine (9) children.
Terry Abe-Kaide, Hilo, Hawaii
Terry’s mother Shizuyo had a cleaning shop in Hilo and requested that Terry, at age 15 help her in the business and also to provide for her siblings. Terry made this sacrifice.
She attended Hilo Intermediate School, through the 9th grade. In order to honor her mom’s request, Terry was unable to attend high school; this did not stifle Terry’s desire and tenacity to further her education. Terry accepted the challenge to seek further education. On Sundays Terry would go to Mrs. Conquest’s home on Reed’s Island to study typing and shorthand.
It was after her brothers and sister were grown that Terry left for Honolulu to study at the Galusha Business School; earning a degree as a legal secretary. After graduation Terry, began working for Attorney Harlocker in Honolulu who encouraged her to take the civil service test. This led to Mrs. Kaide becoming a court room stenographer.
Sidney and Terry Kaide, married October 13, 1945, the beginning of a 64 year marriage.
The Abe’s were friends with the Kaides and this helped lead to the courtship of Terry and Sidney. Sidney was serving his county in the United States’ Army. They were married on October 13, 1945. They had three children, Annette, Charlotte, and Gale.
Besides her full time job at the court, Kaide was the chief administrator for her husband’s business, Sidney Kaide Contractor and Real Estate Developer Enterprise. It was Terry’s second full time job. She was a submissive and loving woman behind a great man who loved his wife. She was her husband’s voice coach and his biggest cheerleader in all his undertakings. Terry also enjoyed line dancing, and was a great singer but modest and humble.
At the same time she cared for her mother-in-law who lived with them and was in a wheelchair due to a stroke. The stamina needed to withstand such huge responsibilities is displayed by Terry’s fruit filled character and witnessed by, patience, determination, tenacity, courage, and long suffering.
Terry was gifted with quite an artistic talent and found time to do Japanese Sumie painting and was a member of the Sumie Society of Hawaii, Director of the Hilo
Chapter, she exhibited her exquisite paintings at the Japanese Brush Painting annual exhibitions in Honolulu Hale City Hall. She also enjoyed taking Ikebana classes,
Japanese flower arrangements. She received her instructor’s degree in teaching Ikebana.
For relaxation time gardening at her Hilo home was her passion, the Kaide’s were awarded a Certificate from the Better Homes and Gardens Magazine for their beautiful garden. Terry was blessed with a green thumb. People would stop to admire her lovely well-manicured garden that was her pride and joy. Another form of relaxation was travel; together Terry and Sidney pretty much sailed around the world by cruise ship.
She also was a good cook, who regularly cooked her favorite dishes for her friends and family. The family loved her Nishime and Shrimp Spaghetti. She would enjoy taking food to Ebesus’ a local FTD Florist, the ladies there were her close friends, among them Aunty Ann Kaya.
Mrs. Kaide culminated her civil service career in the court system as Chief Clerk of the Third Circuit Court in Hilo, which now is filled by attorney Lester Oshiro. She worked for the State Judicial system for 30 years.
The Kaides. L to R: Annette Clay, Sidney Kaide, Charlotte Kaide, Gaye Sakaguchi, Terry Kaide; celebrating the signing of SB190 into law, April 21, 2012, known as the “Love Bill”.
Terry’s life and marriage of sixty-four (64) years is a role model for our community. Today the sense of family and Ohana is greatly needed in today’s society. A family loves, nurtures, and helps to build a community and nation.
In closing, to find happiness Walt Disney said, ”A man should never neglect his family for business.” Oil Tycoon J. Paul Getty said “I hate to be a failure. I hate and regret the failure of my marriages. I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting marital success.”
Beloved Terry, thank you for your legacy, thank you for your love.
On behalf of the Kaide Ohana, they would like to say to everyone, Mahalo Nui Loa for all your prayers… Aloha Ke Akua. We love you. Ua Mau Kea Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono, O Iesu Cristo!
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It was a privilege to meet and become friends of Mr. & Mrs. Sidney Kaide. Their daughter Charlotte is a Christian missionary, she was one of the original individuals in a group that helped spawn Starts at Home. I witness a miracle of healing after Mr. Kaide repented and accepted Jesus as his savior, this was during a time when Sidney who was normally 175 pound weighed less than 100 pounds, cancer stricken, his skin was an ugly green in color, he could hardly breathe; we were alone at Hilo Hospital’s Extended Care building; I was stunned and a bit afraid as Mr. Kaide repented.
The following year joyfully and with good heath Sidney sang his favorite karaoke songs at his 84th birthday. In later years, Terry also accepted Jesus Christ. Pastor George Karves shared the Celebration of Life at both Terry’s and Sidney’s life and I was privileged to present both their eulogies. Thank you to key Hawaii legislators who helped with the passage of SB190, Senator Dwight Takamine, Representatives John Mizuno and Clifton Tsuji. Also, to Helen Sumoba-Saplan’s care home for seniors that provided a nurturing place for the Kaide’s. And most importantly to God we give all the Glory … our heavenly father!
It was Sunday and time to teach Sunday School. The church provided a loving, nurturing, and fun environment to teach interesting bible stories; the children and parents liked the classes and choose to return each Sunday. Being a small country church, this class was composed of eight to eighteen children ranging in age from six to eleven. Due to this wide range teaching was a challenge. In class some children could spell and read, most of them were just learning to read. In this fun atmosphere we taught spelling, reading, and shared stories of how to work with one another.
This Sunday, I was inspired to bake cookies, although I’m not a baker nor a good cook. I enjoyed the children so this led me to start baking cookies for them. My wife Amy would poke her nose into the kitchen and curiously watched and wonder if I could make cookies; her suggestions were appreciated. Some cookies came out of the oven light in color and some a bit darker, nevertheless, they all tasted “ono”, which means delicious in the Hawaiian language. Using food coloring I painted each cookie with a letter or symbol. Now I was equipped to teach Sunday School.
In class I announced that everyone had a chance to get a cookie and all each child had to do was to say a word that contained the letter on the cookie; this was the spelling lesson of the day. When I asked who wanted to go first, they all raised their hands, all frantically trying be noticed. Each child wanted a cookie and my cookie lesson plan was working. Since Paul was the youngest he was chosen to go first.
Paul came up and looked anxiously into the large jar of cookies, a smile on this face, eyes were lit up, he had so much hope in his heart. He looked at me, then looked back into the cookie jar, then again at me and so I asked Paul to tell me any word with any letter on any cookie. With much joy on his face and a pure, clean, and naive heart, Paul said “f- – -” Although I was shocked I did not flinch and instead suggested that he try another word. He again looked happily back into the cookie jar and couldn’t think of a word. At that point I realized that Paul was the youngest in the class and still learning to spell so I picked out a cookie and said, “how about the letter “J” – J for Jesus”; then wrote the word on the whiteboard. His face beamed with happiness, Paul got the first cookie, he sat down and the class continued.
That Sunday morning Paul changed my life. Paul showed me children are taught early in life and sometimes we can lose them to the dark side when we display and teach the wrong attitudes and teachings. When I first shared this story with a few individuals, it provoked two kinds of responses 1) did you scold and discipline the kid?, or 2) that’s funny yet so sad. I agree with the second response, as our children are naive and need to be taught early in life with good skills and attitudes. If I scolded Paul or said harsh words to the children in class they will not want to come back to class, they may become ashamed and run from the teacher or non-nurturing parent. Fortunately Paul continued to come to class every Sunday and it was pure joy helping him grow. I have so much hope for Paul for I know that the seeds we plant in a child’s early life will be fruitful and help build good character in the years to come.
Eventually, I left teaching Sunday school after Lorna, a church member, shared with me this scripture, “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse”; Malachi 4:6 (NIV). This verse is the last scripture written in the Holy Bible’s Old Testament, it was written about 430 years B.C.
The scripture Malachi 4:6 was the beginning and reminder to the teach children earlier in life and to give them a good start; so when they’re older they’ll not depart from the ways they were taught. It was from this point in time I started to dedicate time to encourage parents, this became the vision and mission of Starts at Home.
Lord God, help us teach our children with an obedient, loving, and nurturing spirit. Amen.
Starts at Home 