The melody “Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” can be the most stressful time of the year. With all the media hype and the pressure to give and receive presents, no wonder the FBI reports a jump in the crime rate in December. Have we lost the meaning of Christmas replaced it with Black Friday and the guilt of not having the money to play the Christmas game like seen on TV or social media? Children can sense the stress in parents, instead give more love and spend more time with the children; now that’s priceless, it’s not the expensive gadgets that are obsolete in a few years.
Alternatively, during the holiday season finding happiness can be found in teaching children to be kind and generous with charitable giving, This could be a kind act of stopping to help a person in need, to making a monetary donation to a charity. A study by Harvard School of Business “Feeling Good About Giving”, 2009, showed that people who gave charitably showed an increase in their level of happiness.
When George H. W. Bush was asked, what was his most successful achievement, he did not say Ambassador to China under President Reagan, CIA Director, nor the 41st President of the United States of America, he said “my children still want to come home”
In the end, it’s not the money or “bling” that will make you sing, you can’t buy eternal peace and joy. Our families and friends are our most precious treasures, so give more time and love always.
Parents love their children and want the best for them; our children become who we train them to be. The wise quote below by an unknown Cherokee Indian says many things to parenting of children and the future of our communities.
The Battle Inside of Us – A Quote by Cherokee Indian
One evening an elderly Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between 2 “wolves” inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
L-R, James Long-Goth, Leonard Mukai, Amy Kessinger-Okuyama. Day at the Park, a family fun and educational event sponsored by Thy Word Ministry, March 10, 2010.
An affiliate of Starts at Home Leonard Mukai, Ph.D, has an excellent online program called No Parenting Problems. He and his wife Cecilia Mukai, Ph.D are giving this 30 day video presentation FREE to encourage and help parents; he believes parenting “Starts at Home” and is sharing his program. Speaking to Leonard, his most distant viewer comes from Russia who found his lessons simple and effective. Each video is about one minute. Here’s a link to one (1) of thirty (30) FREE videos.
You know how difficult it is to teach a child and sometimes when we say “no”, all hell breaks loose …. the crying, the pouting, the tantrum and tirades. This video teaches us one way how to say “No” the right way. It’s a pretty simple and cool technique; enjoy this one minute video.
Training children is about age appropriate education. Parents do not intentionally spoil or overindulge their children, however children who are overindulged may become spoiled by caring and unknowing parents. This message is not directed to toddlers under the age of three who are learning about boundaries set by caring parents; if you experience tantrums by a toddler this is a normal behavioral transition from infant to toddler. The future favors prepared parents and children, in this light we share with you important lessons on chores, work ethics, and overindulged children.
Have you heard the saying “the kid is going to be a spoiled brat”? The daughter of singer, Elvis Presley, Lisa Marie Presley says, “I was quite the spoiled brat. I have quite a temper, obviously inherited from my father, and I became very good at ordering everyone around. I was the princess; the staff were absolutely terrified of me.
Also, you may have seen a young boy having a tantrum, screaming, crying in the department store as a means to get something, with everyone watching, the parent “gives in” and the child gets want he wants; who’s training who?
Contrarily, “daddy made sure to instill in us a work ethic” – Kathie Lee Gifford, Hostess, NBC’s Today’s Show.
Having chores helped Amy become a productive person throughout her life.
Chores do work for the benefit of children. My wife Amy Lou Kessinger’s early years were with an abusive alcoholic father, and her parents subsequently divorced. Fortunately her mom was loving, nurturing, and strict, and didn’t enable or spoil her daughter. Amy’s mom was ill for many years, so while they lived with Amy’s grandmother, Amy became a young care giver to her mom to help in the household and with her two younger sisters. Life was good and there were many necessary chores. The four of them (Emiko, Karen, Sharon, and Amy) lived in a small bedroom at their uncle George Nishi’s home. They received financial help from the welfare system. Another person who influenced Amy’s life was Pastor Davis from Kinoole Baptist Church in Hilo, who picked her up and took her to church every Sunday for three to four years.
Thank God, due to her mother’s insistence, Amy studied hard and was a good student who received work-study grants to complete her undergraduate and graduate degrees. Whether a child earns a degree or not, the important point is having a good work ethic will lead to a successful path and life.
One funny example of Amy’s mother’s traditional values, is her grounding us one month before our wedding, because we came home after Amy’s curfew. We couldn’t date, while Amy stayed home to complete sewing her four bridesmaid’s dresses and tend to other wedding details. We have been married over thirty-nine years, thank you Mrs. Kessinger. While Amy’s upbringing is from two generations ago, it still holds true today: productive, responsible adults had parents who instilled in them good work ethics by giving them chores to do and rules to follow.
Tani Katada-Freitas a friend and contributing writer of Starts at Home shares how she had a part in teaching her ten children about chores, beginning after the age of two (2). An important household rule was: “No Chores, No Dessert” a simple rule. If the children didn’t finish their dinner it was bed time, and the uneaten dinner was put into the refrigerator to be served for breakfast. If the children were hungry later in the evening, Tani was sympathetic, but explained, “Sorry, but dinner time is over, you’ll have to wait till breakfast”. Each child helped with cleaning the dishes and kitchen after every meal, and there were lots of other chores for them to do around the house.
Here are some suggested chores for toddlers to help them develop good work ethics
Putting away their toys after play time.
Helping parents with their chores around the home.
Helping clean up the dishes and kitchen after meals with their leading parents.
Helping set the dinner table, dishes or cups or both, keeping it simple.
Making the bed in the morning.
Feeding the pets and reminding their parents if more pet food is needed.
Brushing their teeth in the morning and evenings before bed.
Helping the teacher in school, church, or other organization.
Helping clean the house windows, sweeping and vacuuming the floors.
Helping their parents on their weekly chores.
Having homework time and checking their work for correctness.
Encouraging Actions and Words to Enforce their Chores.
Wow Johnny your bed looks well made, great job!
Remembering to compliment for doing something well.
Chore charting with rewards chart stickers.
Have a big prize after achieving a longer term goal
Many Times Parents Don’t Realized these Actions Contribute to a Spoiled and Narcissistic Child who is Self Centered.
Never saying “no” to the a child and let them have whatever they want, because “it’s easier”.
Make them feel they’re always the center of attention and center of the universe.
Not asking them to share with other children.
Never receives spanking, timeouts, and other forms of discipline.
Allowing the child to boss, hit or bully other children and adults.
Allowed to them watch TV while others are required to clean up and do chores.
Pampering a child to be always so cute and pretty and not teaching chores, social skills, and following up with school homework.
Life will be good for children when they are raised and trained using chores, encouragement, and obedience. Amy and I recommend parents find a church with a Sunday preschool program as a church will help instill good spiritual and moral values as well as educational fundamentals in children. From this will come good relationships at home, with friends, and the community as good work ethic in the marketplace. Have fun and enjoy the children, it starts at home.
The melody “Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” can be the most stressful time of the year. With all the media hype and the pressure to give and receive presents, no wonder the FBI reports a jump in the crime rate in December. Have we lost the meaning of Christmas replaced it with Black Friday and the guilt of not having the money to play the Christmas game like seen on TV or social media? Children can sense the stress in parents, instead give more love and spend more time with the children; now that’s priceless, it’s not the expensive gadgets that are obsolete in a few years.
When George H. W. Bush was asked, what was his most successful achievement, he did not say Ambassador to China under President Reagan, CIA Director, nor the 41st President of the United States of America, he said “my children still want to come home”
Starts at Home 