WHATTT!!!  You’re kidding, you want me to submit to my husband, no way! Does this sound crazy, an impossibility in today’s society? No, this statement is the foundation to a successful marriage where children obey, listen, and learn, and creates a loving and stable family that can weather the storms of life.

Personally, I found this truth later in my marriage and now my marriage and relationship with my wife Amy and children has improved and continues to get better.  As fathers we must love our wives, this is the cornerstone principal and secret of successful families.  As fathers we take the lead, make sacrifices, protect, and accept our wives for who they are.  We think we can change them, demand results, and require sexual exchange .. all wrong!  It starts at home with fathers loving their wives.  Without love, no way will a wife submit, nor children obey.

Husbands, let’s agree what love is: it’s spiritual, and inspirational. Love is what successful families are made of  and the main ingredient in block buster big hit movies. Love is patient, kind, not envy, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrong doing, forgives, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects, trusts, hopes, preserves. Love never fails. Love is God’s greatest gift to you to pass to your wife and children, we pass it forward.

When I started practicing this concept my relationship with my wife changed. She was no longer a property or trophy, she became my best friend, partner, and wife.  At the same time I started to use this concept with our cat Tigger and I saw changes in Tigger’s behavior.  At that point, I realized that it was not Tigger or Amy that changed, it was me. The concept is simple, we can’t throw stones at our wives and expect them to follow; instead don’t be surprised if they run away.

On children, when children see and observe their parent’s loving relationship, they have an easier time obeying.  Children are naive and don’t have a clue what is right or wrong, they’re all eyes, ears, and emotions. Children are like absorbent sponges, automatically soaking in material where they are placed. Children are required to obey their parents as they have no knowledge or wisdom, and parents teach them for their own good.

This period of children’s obedience begins early in life, if we don’t start early in life we miss the opportunity to plant good seeds into their existence.  This is a time in life when the soil for planting is deep and rich.  As loving, nurturing, and lovingly strict parents, we need to do this before the age of seven (7); contrary if we don’t teach them the world through media and other poor examples will teach them. Then the older they get the more rebellious they become.  It’s difficult to plant seeds when children are teenagers.  According to many social studies marriage dissatisfaction is the lowest when children become teenagers ….research graphs show it’s the pits!  From ancient biblical writings to modern educational methods, time reveals to teach a child early in life and as they become older they will not depart from what we teach them.

Husbands and dads, it starts at home with an inspirational spirit encouraging  us to love our wives, wives willingly submitting, and children following.  Try it in good faith …. it works!   God bless you and your family.

By Carl Okuyama