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Unconditional Love on Mothers Day – Big Time Love

Filed under: Parenting, Principles — 2 Comments
May 9, 2013

Happy Mother’s Day to very special ladies!

A Mother’s Day message for moms, who loved us ,nurtured, and shape our lives, including non-biological mother relationships.

A time of bonding and a foundation of future relationships; a vital part of early childhood development.

A time of bonding and a foundation of future relationships; a vital part of early childhood development.

Thank You Mom for taking care of us while we grew in you, as you felt our movements, heard our heart beating, and brought us into this world crying and kicking.

Thank you for providing for our physical needs because we were too small to change our diapers and feed ourselves; we were little gems, great hopes, and aspirations to do big things in our lives.

Mom, thank you for not giving up on dad, my brothers, sisters, and me.  We know it was difficult and sometimes you wanted to call it quits and just walk out the door or walk off the face of the planet, but your big time love stuck it out for us.

Thanks for teaching us to pray and know that with faith we can make our hopes and dreams a reality.

Thanks for the times you were pulling your hair because no one helped you and you were alone and crying.  And when when you were a single mom, thank you for not taking your frustrations out on me, we saw it coming many times but somehow you maintained your temper and you managed to love us through those toughest of times.. those blessings of grace and acts of courage were big time love.

Mom thank you for not beating and hurting us, like when you were raised by your hurtful and harmful parents, your foregiving of grandpa and grandma is unconditional love.  We now understand how difficult is was for you to be abused yet you forgave and didn’t look back with bitterness in your heart.

Mom thank you for those times we know you wanted to go out with your friends or watch that special program but instead stayed to read and play with us.

Mom thanks for being lovingly strict with us as now we know why we had to obey; you wanted the best for us.  When we were little children, we thought you were the worst mom an enemy could send, but we were wrong, you were good preventive medicine.  We’re glad you held on to the medicine spoon and made us drink for our own good.

Mom thank you for the time I had to move back home because things were just not working out in my life, you took us back with your unconditional love and you were again there for us.

Thank you for teaching us that the material things in life are nice but our character and relationships are priceless that have everlasting value, it’s not the “bling” in the end that will make us sing.

Happy Mother’s Day!  We love you and your Unconditional Big Time Love.

Carl Okuyama

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My wife Amy’s mother’s name is Emiko and my mother’s name is Kiyoko.  Now, Amy is a grandmother and is helping nurture, love, and train our grandchildren, the next generation.

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Free Days at National Parks – Parents and Children enjoying Earth and Nature

Filed under: Events for Families — Leave a comment
April 25, 2013

Enjoy our National Parks with the children, fun exploring, learning, and relaxing with the family.  America’s Best Idea – National parks – gets even better this year with several fee-free days at more than 100 national parks that usually charge entrance fees.  For more information visit:http://www.nps.gov/findapark/feefreeparksbystate.htm

And to make the fun even more affordable, many national park concessioners are joining the National Park Service in welcoming visitors on this summer’s fee free weekends with the their own special offers.

*Fee waiver includes: entrance fees, commercial tour fees, and transportation entrance fees. Other fees such as reservation, camping, tours, concession and fees collected by third parties are not included unless stated otherwise.

If you’re in Hawaii, visit the probably the most active Volcano in the world – Kilauea Volcano, part the the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park.  The hot thing to do is visit a live lava flow.  Its the coooolest thing you can do. Real Hot be careful… Aloha!

Centennial Year at Hawaii Volcano National Park –  http://hvo.wr.usgs.gov/

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Teenage Sex Abstinence Message on the Radio – Bay Clinic

Filed under: Principles — Leave a comment
April 15, 2013

Hoorah! Bay Clinic Promotes Parenting and Sex Abstinence

Thank you to Bay Clinic for sharing their radio commercials that encourages increased parent and child engagement and urges parents to talk to their adolescent children about sex and family planning.  Sex education is not a one time talk, instead a series of talks beginning from the age of one.  Their commercials tie into Starts at Home article article about teaching sex education before the age of seven.

Bay Clinic is using  three (3) commercials to promote their message and services.  We like hearing the word abstinence on the radio and hope it touches the lives of parents and children; it was so refreshing to hear these commercials produce and aired in 2011, enjoy these important messages.

Commercial #1  - Bay Clinic_Teen Pregnancy-2-Men

Commercial #2 – Bay Clinic_Teen Pregnancy-Father & Son

Commercial #3 - Bay Clinic_Teen Pregnancy-Mom & Daughter

Bay Clinic does not provide abortions but they will offer pregnant women neutral and factual information, non-directive counseling, and referrals upon request for our women patients’ pregnancy options.

Starts at Home encourages other parenting organizations to promote abstinence at an early age and to join in to help parents train children in the way they should go.  A wise parenting choice is to start teaching sex education as part of early childhood development; a popular article in Starts at Home is  Teaching Sex Education Starts at Home – Toddlers, Children, Four Steps Before Seven Years Old.

Thank you Bay Clinic for your concerns and creative public service announcement.

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The Implications of Child Abuse and Neglect on Child Development – Hawaii 4/12/13 & 4/19/13

Filed under: Classes, Events for Parents, Healing Parents and Children — Leave a comment
April 8, 2013
PARENTS Inc. Logo
Workshop Time (9:00 am – 4:00 pm)
Specialized Training on The Implications of Child Abuse and Neglect  on Child Development                
by Ms. Danielle Spain and Ms. Isha Charbonneau
Sponsored by P.A.R.E.N.T.S, Inc.
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Workshop Content 
The learning objectives for this workshop are to gain the knowledge that:While physical injuries may or may not be immediately visible, abuse and neglect can have consequences for children, families, and society that can last a lifetime. The impact of child abuse and neglect will be discussed in terms of physical, psychological, behavioral, and societal consequences. Participants will gain knowledge and understanding of the long term impact of child abuse and neglect, and how to work with families healing from the trauma associated with Child Abuse and Neglect.

Speaker Bios

Danielle Spain, Parents Inc.

Danielle Spain, Parents Inc.

Danielle Spain has her Master’s in Counseling with emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy. Since 1999 she has been working with families afflicted by child abuse and neglect and domestic violence. She and her husband are the parents of three biological children and four foster youth. She has extensive experience working with a number of social ills, including substance abuse, domestic violence and sex abuse. She is one of our Program Directors in East Hawaii.

Parent Educator Isha Charbonneau graduated from UH Hilo with her Bachelor’s degree in Communication. She has been a parent educator with PARENTS, Inc. for the past 7 years. She also strengthens families by providing in-home skill building for parents in need of additional support through PARENTS, Inc. She loves the challenges of her job and the interesting people she meets and works with. She is the mother of two school aged children.

Isha Charbonneau, Parents, Inc.

Isha Charbonneau, Parents, Inc.

Workshop Dates & Venues

Big Island Workshop: April 12, 2013 (Fri) 

Address: Glad Tidings Church, 113 Kuawa Street, Hilo, HI  96720

Oahu Workshop: April 19, 2013 (Fri)

Address: Hawaii USA Federal Credit Union, 1226 College Walk, Honolulu, HI 96817

*Workshop content is the same in both locations.

 Workshop Fees:

$65 for the whole-day workshop, $45 for students

**Light refreshments will be served

Registration

Download the Registration Form and send to Parents, Inc. office together with a check payable to”PARENTS, Inc.”

Please download and complete the Registration Form and email to us.

For inquiry, please call:

(808) 934-9552 for Big Island workshop

(808) 235-0255 for Oahu workshop

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Encouraging Parents

Filed under: About Us — Leave a comment
March 10, 2013

Parenting can be the most challenging and rewarding job there is.

Starts at Home encourages parents with children under seven years of age. You’ve heard it said it “starts at home”.  Children don’t come with instruction manuals.  Starts at Home are people who love parents and children, who are devoted to helping children achieve the best in whatever God given talents they have.  Parents are empowered to teach good attitudes and skills like faith, sharing, obedience, honoring parents, reading, math, memory, budgeting, and other practical life skills. etc. We believe that parents whether married, single, or custodial, can teach children and protect them against the temptations they will face in the world like, unhealthy eating, sexual permissiveness, illegal drugs, internet safety, selfish pride, and excessive materialism.

We have a lot of work when it comes to loving the children and encouraging parents. There’s a lot of traumatized children out there.. Charles Manson is an example; they grow up without the love of nurturing parents and eventually release their ugly anger.  When Charles Manson was born his mother did not give him a name, later, his mother sold him for a pitcher of beer.

In the United States, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics,  ”the homicide 1) rate doubled from the early 1960s to the late 1970s, increasing from 4.6 per 100,000 U.S. residents in 1962 to, 2)  9.7 per 100,000 by 1979,  3) in 1980 the rate peaked at 10.2 per 100,000,  and 4) subsequently fell  to 7.9 per 100,000 in 1984. 5) The rate rose again in the late 1980′s and early 1990′s to another peak in 1991 of 9.8 per 100,000. 5) The homicide rate declined sharply from 9.3 homicides per 100,000, 6) in 1992 to 4.8 homicides per 100,000 in 2010″.

The poverty of no love and rejection can lead to many forms of mental illness. With hope, faith, and love, we come to serve. We are a group of individuals, businesses, organization working together to help families because children are not born with instructions.  For more information on this group see the Organization in this website.

We would be honored to have you be part of It Starts at Home, please email or call us at www.startsathome.org, startsathome@hotmail.com

Carl Okuyama/ 1346 Kilikina Street/ Hilo, Hawaii 96720/ Phone (808) 937-4392 /e-mail startsathome@hotmail.com

  • This article was originally published on April 4, 2010
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Crying for the Children – Child Abuse, Rejection, Depression, and Healing

Filed under: Healing Parents and Children, Parenting — 2 Comments
February 16, 2013

 

Healing Parents Who Were Abused As Children

Crying for the Children

Lately people have been sharing their intimate childhood stories of parental abuse- abuse which has left them deeply scared with feelings of guilt that they were somehow at fault for their parents’ abusive behavior.  Our heart cries for these people whose childhoods were robbed this way, for their lives have been negatively affected as they struggle with their guilt, not realizing that it was not their fault.  As adults, they carry a heavy burden of pain and my heart is heavy for them. We thank them for sharing their stories to provide help to others who have the same experiences; their testimonials have healing power.

As innocent and impressionable children they were robbed of  joy when parent(s) or other person abuses them verbally or physically. It saddens us as we listen to their experiences of physical beatings, incest, rejection, verbal abuse, cruelty and in some cases, attempted murder.  These wounds often remain open and need healing so that the abuse victim can understand that they were not at fault, and can learn to release this undeserved feelings of guilt and to love themselves again.  Only then can they can love others -their spouses, children, friends,  and raise a family.  Without the healing process, abuse is fated to become a generational problem.  This means that at the very least, child abuse will continue to the next generation as victims grow up to abuse their own or other children;  at the most, it may escalate to murder or suicide that often winds up on the front page news with most such sad endings  not even acknowledged in the newspaper or television.

Child abuse is a huge challenge we face not only as a country, but as a threat to mankind as well.  The horrific spirit of rejection and depression runs deep in its victims, and with time broadens its reach, as evidenced by the increase in violent crimes and the breakdown of the family and social values.

Love can heal these deep wounds.   All children are special, trusting, and very impressionable.   Abused children are quiet, afraid to speak out because they are ashamed, have low esteem, and most of all afraid.  Kids…. it’s NOT YOUR FAULT!   Stop listening to the past and the discouraging words that were spoken to you, God would not say those things or do those things to you. Your precious childhood is fleeting and needs to be enjoyed, filled with innocent joy and discovery of life, with guidance on your path to a well-adjusted and righteous adulthood walk with God.

If you ran away from home, it was because there was no love there, and no nurturing environment.  Perhaps in your search for love, you looked in the wrong places and no wonder – you were never taught in a loving and disciplined home.  It all should have started at home; a place you never had.

Help Us to Be Loving and Use Discipline Wisely

  • Help us to forgive our parents or foster parents for the wrongful things they did or said.  Strengthen me to honor and love my parents despite the errors of their ways. Lift my spirit to worship only the one and loving God and forgive me for worshiping my parents. I will honor my parents and worship God.
  • Help us to control our anger and our tongue, knowing what we say we cannot take back our words and actions.  Help our words to be encouraging and let those words create new hope, faith, and new life.
  • Help us to use discipline wisely in a loving way, being slow to anger, and not enabling poor and abusive behavior.
  • Help us not to look back in bitterness, remaining stuck in the past; instead keep our attention focused on the good life of a promising future.

There is hope and we are encouraged,  knowing healing will come to mankind as He brings fathers and mothers back to their children, and the children back to their parents.

Our prayer

Lord help us to love our neighbors and help heal those who were victims of abuse;  help them to forgive those who wronged them like you have forgiven us for our sins, and restore them to new fruitful productive  living. Amen.

Original publish date, September 26, 2012

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Our Vision, Mission, Principals, and Goals

Filed under: A Vision — 1 Comment
January 8, 2013

Vision Statement

A Parenting Revival

Building the Family

Mission

Starting at Home seeks to elevate the community’s awareness and need for positive parenting.

Starting at Home seeks to encourage men to love their wives and together raise their children in a manner that builds stronger families and communities.

Starting at Home seeks to encourage and teach parents, whether married, single, or custodial, in parenting of children.

Statement and Purpose

We believe when we encourage, love and discipline children, they will follow;

We believe positive parenting starts early in life by teaching children age appropriate concepts before the age of seven.

We come not to judge but to encourage and share with parents and children.

We believe a parent’s love is the greatest gift to the children.

We seek to build more dual parenting household.

We seek to have fathers share more of a parenting role in the household.

We walk in Faith.

Ten Basic Principals

1. Faith in God is the foundation of the home.

2. The home is led with loving parents sacrificing for their spouses and children.

3. Love is patient, kind, not envy, not boast, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrong doing, forgives, not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects, trusts, hopes, preserves. Love never fails.

4. Children are taught basic attitudes and skill before the age of seven including: Love, discipline, sharing, listening, honesty,  memory, curiosity, sex, no to drugs, chores, safety, internet safety, reading, math, science, music, ecology, skills, language, and manners.

5. Encouragement is needed to motivate and foster a child’s growth. Our words and actions will build or destroy a child’s future. Every child is different and has a special talent that needs nurturing.

6. Being too lenient is harmful and may produce spoiled children with super controlling egos, anarchism, and harmful pride.

7. When we love the children they will obey and follow. We want to prevent a child from feeling rejected.

8. Parenting is the giving of your quality time and not just financial resources to your children.

9. Encourage children to eat healthy and take care of their bodies.

10. Teaching age appropriate materials is wise.

Family Goals

For Parents

1. We are encouraging and a good example to our children.

2. We don’t give up and can make it through the tough times.

3. Promote a parenting revival for the future benefit of our community.

For Children

1. Come to parents for advice and to share their questions, concerns, and problems.

2. Follow and listen to trusted and loving parents.

3. Leave the home as contributing members in the community.

4. Independent and have successful family our their own.

5. Are respectful of their parents and grandparents.

This Vision and Mission statement was established on October 24, 2009.

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